7in7 Day 1: Standing Beside

I wrote this song with a heavy heart today as I found out a dear friend of mine was shot and killed. My heart breaks for his wife and son. I want to wrap my arms around Anita and just hold her for awhile. She has been on my heart every since I found out the news this morning. So I wrote a song to her.

Standing Beside

I know you can't see through these tears
But I'm here for you

I know you don't understand
But I know what is true

HE'S STANDING BESIDE, THE ONE WHO GAVE HIS LIFE
HIS EYES NOW SEE, WHAT WE CAN ONLY DREAM
NO TEARS, NO PAIN - NO FEARS, NO SHAME

I won't tell you time will heal
'cause your time stands still

There will be a day when you'll be there
And you'll see him again

HE'S STANDING BESIDE, THE ONE WHO GAVE HIS LIFE
HIS EYES NOW CAN SEE, WHAT WE CAN ONLY DREAM
NO TEARS, NO PAIN - NO FEARS, NO SHAME

hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah

7in7 Day 2: My Dear

So this song had me in some tears as I was writing it. Over the last several months I have had fostering/adopting on my heart so heavily. I feel the Lord is leading me towards this and I've been praying SO MUCH about this. So it has been on my heart a lot and so I thought I would write a song for my future babies.

My Dear

I am confident that you are mine
You have taken up my heart over time
Oh oh oh, ohh, ohh, oh oh

I will let the angels hold you tonight
I will trust that the timing is right
When I can hold you in my arms
And keep you safe from this world's harm

I wanna show you things that you will love
I will smile and thank the Lord above
Oh oh oh, ohh, ohh, oh oh

I will let the angels hold you tonight
I will trust that the timing is right
When I can hold you in my arms
And keep you safe from this world's harm

I wait for you, my dear
I love you so , my dear
I'm praying for you to come home, oh oh

But I will let the angels hold you tonight
I will trust that the timing is right
When I can hold you in my arms
And keep you safe from this world's harm
Oh oh oh, ohh, ohh, oh oh

7in7 Day 1: You Are Near

It's that time of year again. Where all of us artists go crazy for 7 days.
I've been SO sick the last several days and so don't mind the roughness of this recording.

This song is called You Are Near.



When I can't see the light
Let me shine for You
When I'm lost and in the fight
Help me cry to You

You are are near
Jesus You are near
Help me believe You
That You are near

When I can't find the way
Help me see Your face
When I've wandered far away
Help me feel Your grace

You are near
Jesus You are near
Help me believe You
That You are near

When I doubt you in fear
Help me stand for You
When I'm drenched in all my tears
Help me sing to You


You are near
Jesus You are near
Help me believe You
That You are near

7in7 Day 4: The Laughing Song

I would like to share a new song with you all that is technically song #3 for me. It's a co-write with the one and only Jimmy McNeal.  If you know either of us, you will know that there is one thing that we love to do.
Laugh.
This song features Jimmy on lead vocals and me on BGV's which is basically me laughing.
We are counting this as a song.
This song will guarantee to make you laugh and give you a better day. 
You should also take note that at the end of the song is Jimmy's actual laugh. It's for real folks. So. Funny.
For your enjoyment...
 

7in7 Day 2: "A Marvelous Birth"

Day 2. Song 2. Done.
I felt good about this song last night, and am not too sure this morning.
But it's a song...and it's a CHRISTMAS SONG! love christmas.

So not sure if this breaks the rules or not, but I found an old Christmas hymn that I've never heard before, so some of the lyrics came from that. Chorus, bridge & half of the 2nd verse are lyrically mine and the melody & music is mine.

Let me know what you think!
 
A Marvelous Birth
There's a song in the air
There's a star in the sky
There's a mother's deep prayer
And a baby's loud cry
And the star rains its fire
While the beautiful sing
For the manger of Bethlehem
Cradles the King

Oh Hallelujah, Oh Hallelujah
The newborn King
Has come to save the world

There's a choir of joy
There's a marvelous birth
For the virgin's sweet boy
Is the Lord of the earth
And the star rains its fire
While the beautiful sing
For the manger of Bethlehem
Cradles the King

Oh Hallelujah, Oh Hallelujah
The newborn King
Has come to save the world

This baby boy will be
Our only victory
On the cross, On the cross
Sweet Jesus You will be
Our only victory
On the cross, On the cross

Oh Hallelujah, Oh Hallelujah
The newborn King
Has come to save the world

7in7: Day 1 "I'll Walk With You"

7in7 is back again. For those of you who don't know...it a challenge to songwriters to write 7 songs in 7 days. The last time I did this it didn't go so well. I put way to much pressure on myself and I was pretty much a mess the entire time. If you wanna revisit this...here is a link to my blog posts.
This year I've decided to let go of all pressure, let go of all expectations and pray like crazy. My people are praying for me and I am believing that God is going to do some amazing things during this time through all the 350 people who are participating in this thing!
I welcome you if you are here for the first time! I love that 7in7 brings together community.

So day 1 was yesterday. I had a FULL day and wasn't sure how this was going to work, but God came through. I was even thinking about how this song came together last night and I honestly don't remember a ton. I just know that I was completely exhausted and the Spirit was heavy.
I'm thankful for this song. It is completely from Him. I have a lot of friends who are going through some really hard stuff right now. I've walked through really hard stuff. It sucks. But I'm thankful that God promises us that He will never leave us, that He will fight for us, He gives hope, He gives rest. This song is about that...
I'll probably add a small bridge at some point and maybe a better way to end it.
Let me know what you think!
 

I'll Walk With You

I can see that you are broken
Your eyes say it all
Shut down and distracted
You stare at the wall
I will give you hope

I'll walk with you
I'll help you fight
Lean in, let Me hold you
My burden is light
You are Mine, you are Mine

I know you, your mind is restless
Come to Me, My child
Laid bare & wounded
Your thoughts are runnin wild
I will give you rest

I'll walk with you
I'll help you fight
Lean in, let Me hold you
My burden is light
You are Mine, you are Mine

7in7: the 8th Day

And on the 8th day we gathered together to play a song and celebrate with a party.
It was a beautiful thing to see all these people come together, friends and some new friends.  Some who came from across town and some who drove a few hours.  It was awesome.
But...I DID NOT want to go. Everything in me wanted to stay home, but after talking with a few people who said they would be mad at me if I didn't go...I went. All the while battling lies of feeling like a failure for showing up to this party with no song to sing.
Here's the deal. I battle with my thoughts. I battle with my feelings. I can easily let the enemy of this world get me down. I was disappointed.
But I felt a peace at the same time of knowing that God is over everything and that for some reason he kept songs from me these 7 days (except for some lyrics). He wanted to give me something else instead.
Peace in Him.
Confidence in Him and what He thinks of me.
Trust in Him.
Not saying that I still don't struggle with this stuff...cause it's a constant battle...but I'm thankful for what He is teaching me.
It's hard.
But it's good.
I'm pretty sure that now that this is all over, some songs will come out of this.
I hope!
Thanks for y'all who have read all of my posts and all my rants about this process. It was good for me to journal through it and I hope that somehow it encouraged at least one of you!
Thanks for those who have encouraged me through this too. I appreciate that more than anything. More than ever it has reassured me of how important community is. Truly thankful.
Here are a couple of pics:

7in7: Day 7

Looking over my journal at the pages marked Day 1, Day 2, Day 3....
There are lots of words and lots of scribbles.
It seems I can't make any sense of it.
Different topics, different words, different themes.
They all sort of run together but make no sense.
I get to a certain point where my mind goes blank...I can see it each day that I wrote. I would get a few lines or a verse and the rest of the page would be blank...or be filled with scribbles. 
Then the next day...same thing...a few lines or a chorus and then nothing.
UGH. frustrating.
I've wanted to give up.
I've wanted to bail on the 8th day party. (where everyone gets together to share some of their songs)
I've beat myself up.
I've been completely negative.
I've compared myself.
I've been living in funky town.
I've worried. I've panicked. I've cried.
I talked with several friends today and was reminded of how important community is.
My people keep me standing.
My people speak truth to me.
My people pray for me.
My people kick me in the booty (in a good way).
My people encourage me to not give up.
My people remind me that my worth is not in people's opinions of me.
My people remind me that to fail at something is not the end of the world...but that it means that you tried instead of doing the same comfortable thing over and over again.
My people remind me that the process of learning is hard.
My people remind me that there is purpose in all of this...even showing up to the 8th day party with no songs.
So will I go to the 8th day party tomorrow night?
yes.
Do I want to go?
um...not really.
Do I have any songs to sing?
no.
Am I scared of feeling like a failure?
yes.
Am I a complete failure?
absolutely not.
Will I have to remind myself of this every minute?
absolutely yes.

7in7: Day 6

Is it normal to have the feeling of wanting to give up non-stop.
Surely that can't be good.
I don't know what it is but everything in me is going crazy and I can't sort through any of it. This whole 7in7 thing has pretty much messed me up.
I fear that at the end of this thing I will have nothing. No songs. Just a lot of random lyrics that are pieced together all messy like. That might happen. At this point...it's looking pretty good.
How have I gone from being excited and inspired to feeling completely hopeless...to thinking, "ok...maybe this isn't bad." right back to feeling completely hopeless. I feel like the "ok...maybe this isn't bad." part was just a false hope. Now being back in this hopeless stage feels even more hopeless.
Drama. sorry!
Just being real. Because for the past 6 days I've tried, I've pushed through, I've cried, I've thrown the towel, I've kicked myself in the booty, I've encouraged myself, I've beat myself down, I've slept, I've not slept, I've read, I've listened, I've written, I've watched, I've spoken truth to myself.
But I still find myself tonight just heavy with this pressure I've put on myself that is just ridiculous.
Some may read this and think...this girl is crazy. Or...she has crossed the line of being overly dramatic. Or...she needs to be on medication.
Whatever you are thinking...is probably true.
What I have to keep coming back to is truth. Bringing it back to simple and the fact that I'm making a bigger deal about this and about me...than I need to.
I'm messed up and I'm seeing this more and more. I'm seeing my need for Jesus more and more. I'm seeing how incapable I am of living apart from Him.
It all comes down to the fact that I need more of Him. He is all I need, just Him. No one else. Nothing else. No song. No lyrics. No melodies. Just HIM.

I would also like to point out that I have gone from Day 1 looking cute to Day 6 looking NOT so cute with my sweats and sweater and my blue balled slippers.

The end.

7in7: Day 5

This is all I have to say about today.

Is this over yet?

7in7: Day 4

Day 4 was Sunday & I led worship for 4 services, 2 in the morning and 2 in the evening.
Sundays are both amazing and really hard. I never realized how much energy it takes to lead 4 services until I started doing it every Sunday.
Yesterday was a hard day. I was already exhausted and was not feeling well...and also just emotionally tired. I felt like my mind and my heart were all over the place.  So it was a hard day to lead. BUT...I love when God gives me these days because all the more do I realize my need for Him. How dependent I have to be on Him and how He doesn't need me. No matter what state I'm in...He still does His thing...He's still God. He still uses me somehow...in my imperfectness.
I did not write a song Day 4...but I did write. I prayed. This is some of what I wrote in my journal...I'm getting vulnerable...here you go...

God...take my heart today. I'm restless. I don't feel good. I'm tired. My heart is not settled in You.  Help me to set everything aside and worship You fully.  Forgive me for not worshiping you in the Spirit. Forgive me for my distracted mind and my scattered heart.  Your glory is not dependent on the condition of my heart. Your glory remains the same. You are still God and You deserve all worship. You know every part of me. Help me. Help me to humble myself before You. Help me worship You in the Spirit. Help me be like You. Help me proclaim Your name before mine and before anything else. I just want You. Just You.

He is still God even if I don't finish 7 songs.

7in7: Day 3

I am considering today an accomplishment.
I finished a song...lyrically. Now I just need to figure out the music...which is the most intimidating part. This is when I just want someone to come in and do the music for me.
But I will put it down for a bit and come back to it.
Sooo...Here are the lyrics: (deep breath)

SOMEONE
Verse1:
I'm looking all around me
Fighting constantly
Unsettled with this skin I'm in
Uncertain of this life I live

Pre-Chorus1:
Waiting to be...someone else
Just wanting to be you
Anybody else but me just someone else like...

Chorus1:
The girl with the long flowing hair
The guy with the songs & the cold dark stare
The girl with the tiny frame
The guy with the wall of shame

Verse2:
Still believing lies about me
Fighting constantly
Not willing to remain the same
How about another name?

Pre-Chorus2:
Waiting til that day...for something new
Just wanting to be you
Anybody else but me just someone else like...

Chorus1:
The girl with the long flowing hair
The guy with the songs and the cold dark stare
The girl with the tiny frame
The guy with the wall of shame

Bridge:
This fight, this fight
Trying to be someone
But all I need is You...

Chorus2:
Who knows the number of each hair
Who gives me His songs with His sweet love stare
Who made & formed my frame
Who takes away my shame

7in7 Day 2

I'm a mess.
I've cried every day of 7in7 and it's...day 2.
This is hard. I put entirely way too much pressure on myself and it's ridiculous.
Yesterday I got a verse and part of a chorus. No music or melodies...every time I tried I would get so frustrated.
I realized that I wasn't letting myself write a bad song. I wanted it to be perfect and amazing.  I put these standards on myself that are completely ridiculous...I expect way too much and I just need to give myself grace.
So I'm gonna try and shake it off...let God teach me what He wants through this process...because I'm pretty sure that is what is going to be the biggest accomplishment, more than coming up with some songs, it will be how He is teaching me how to die...to a lot. He's showing me my heart and to be honest, it's ugly.
I've believed lies about myself, I've completely disregarded how God has created me and I've wanted to give up about 777 times.
Today I spent most of the day in College Station with Aaron and the guys for Donna Stuart's CD Release Concert/Worship night. Both Aaron and Donna said things that I needed to hear tonight. So thankful for them.
So I'm going to choose to not give up. I'm going to give myself grace. I'm going to write some really bad songs. I'm going to start over tomorrow.
I'm also going to get some inspiration from the fact that Christmas has overtaken our house. Surely a Christmas song will come out of this.

7in7 Day 1

So I've agreed to do this 7in7 thing.
It's where you write 7 songs in 7 days.
WHAT?
yeah.
Today is day 1 and I'm wearing a cute outfit. I've somehow convinced myself that by wearing a cute outfit...it will help.
So far...I've managed to get nothing down...but I look cute. 
Point proven that looking cute will not get me 7 songs in 7 days.
I started reading through some blogs to get some inspiration and came across this blog of a couple who has documented their life after losing their son right after he was born. I was drawn into this story and found myself filled with all kinds of emotions and feel compelled to write about it. So...we'll see what comes out.
I'm praying. I don't want these 7 days to be about me and what I can do and how I can write a song. But I want to be led and I want these songs to not be from me.
Oh pray with me!
I may or may not be posting songs on here. We'll see how vulnerable I feel!