Saturday, November 13, 2010

7in7 Day 2

I'm a mess.
I've cried every day of 7in7 and it' 2.
This is hard. I put entirely way too much pressure on myself and it's ridiculous.
Yesterday I got a verse and part of a chorus. No music or melodies...every time I tried I would get so frustrated.
I realized that I wasn't letting myself write a bad song. I wanted it to be perfect and amazing.  I put these standards on myself that are completely ridiculous...I expect way too much and I just need to give myself grace.
So I'm gonna try and shake it off...let God teach me what He wants through this process...because I'm pretty sure that is what is going to be the biggest accomplishment, more than coming up with some songs, it will be how He is teaching me how to a lot. He's showing me my heart and to be honest, it's ugly.
I've believed lies about myself, I've completely disregarded how God has created me and I've wanted to give up about 777 times.
Today I spent most of the day in College Station with Aaron and the guys for Donna Stuart's CD Release Concert/Worship night. Both Aaron and Donna said things that I needed to hear tonight. So thankful for them.
So I'm going to choose to not give up. I'm going to give myself grace. I'm going to write some really bad songs. I'm going to start over tomorrow.
I'm also going to get some inspiration from the fact that Christmas has overtaken our house. Surely a Christmas song will come out of this.

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