Hello friends!
This is a new website/blog for your enjoyment! Please update your links/rss feeds/google readers etc.
Explore a bit and learn more about me, listen to some great music by my friends and read about my ministry at the Austin Stone Community Church.
My prayer for this website is that you are blessed and that it can be a resource of encouragement to you. Would love any feedback from you and would love for you to share this with those who will be blessed by what God is doing through me and my ministry. So thankful for all of your support.
You are loved!
My sweet Jesus, All I am All I have Everything is Yours Everything
With everything With everything We will shout for Your glory With everything With everything We will shout forth Your praise
"My soul yearns, even faints for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God." - Psalm 84:2
Our hearts they cry Be glorified Be lifted high above all names For You our King with everything We will shout forth Your praise
My sweet Jesus, All I am All I have Everything is Yours
Everything
Heal my heart and make it clean Open up my eyes to the things unseen Show me how to love like You have loved me Break my heart for what breaks Yours Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause As I walk from earth into eternity
Heal me, heal my heart and make me clean Open up my eyes to see what I can't see Show me how to love like You have loved me Break down my heart, break it for everything that breaks Yours Everything I am, everything I have, all of me is for You and Your glory Heal me, break me as I walk from this earth into eternity
Our God is a consuming fire A burning Holy flame with glory and freedom... Our God is jealous for His own None could comprehend his love and his mercy...
"Be careful not to forget the covenant of the Lord your God that he made with you; do not make for yourselves an idol in the form of anything the Lord your God has forbidden. For the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God." Deuteronomy 4:23-24
Songs in bold: With Everything - Hillsong Hosanna - Hillsong A Mighty Fortress - Christy Nockels
For the last year and a half I have been able to do full time ministry and I have been beyond blessed. God has blessed me with an amazing team that I get to lead with and learn from.
Every Sunday I get to help lead worship for thousands of people, alongside some of the greatest worship leaders including Aaron Ivey, Jimmy McNeal, Todd Agnew & Justin Cofield. Every Sunday, I am humbled that God chose me to do what I'm doing. To see the way that He moves in people to worship...it's a beautiful thing.
The Lord has also called me to love on the women in our church, building them up and walking through life with them, pointing them to the gospel, towards Jesus and His word. Again, I am humbled that God would use this broken, messed up girl who struggles with all kinds of things, to make an impact for His glory. It is only through His strength and grace, it is completely Him.
I have also had the privilege to help coordinate the production of our new LIVE worship album, released December 6th. Austin Stone Worship. I'm so excited about this album. These are songs that we sing on Sunday and love that people can have these songs to take with them throughout the week to worship Jesus wherever they are.
I'm so thankful for this opportunity to serve God and to give back what He has given me. He gives willingly. Provides abundantly. Loves graciously. I'm forever thankful
If you would like to support me and my ministry at the Austin Stone check out the DONATE tab for more information or go to the ONLINE GIVING link on the sidebar to take you straight to the website.
Ani and I decided to go for a “run” tonight at 9:30 around our neighborhood. It’s 10:00 and we are back home. With a total of maybe 2 minutes of actual running.
Let’s skip past the parts where it’s dark outside, we have headphones blasting our music and the fact that it’s STILL 105 degrees outside and we kind of got lost…I promise…we ARE safe…
We decided to make our way back to the house so we turn back around headed back the way we came…except this time I look up and see a full moon shining at us. It was beautiful. Light. The sky was clear and it was beautiful. God’s greatness.
I was listening to the new Passion CD, Awakening. The songs that came on at that point had me almost on my face.
For You and You alone
Awake my soul, awake my soul and sing
For the world You love
Your will be done, let Your will be done in me
And my hands went up. Your will be done Lord. For You alone. For YOU.
Then came this song:
With everything, with everything
We will shout for your glory
With everything, with everything
We will shout forth Your praise
Our hearts they cry be glorified
Be lifted high above all names
For You our king
With everything we will shout forth Your praise
Again…the hands went up. Everything I have, all that I am, everything for YOU.
There was a point where there was a big gap in the trees and houses and you could just see sky and moon.
Oh my heart.
I love worship times like this.
Psalm 148:1-5
“Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord from the heavens! Praise him from the skies! Praise him, all his angels! Praise him, all the armies of heaven! Praise him, sun and moon! Praise him, all you twinkling stars! Praise him, skies above! Praise him, vapors high above the clouds! Let every created thing give praise to the Lord, for he issued his command, and they came into being.”
Sometimes I wish I had an accent. A fun accent like British or Australian or Irish. Not like a Kentucky accent. (no offense to anyone who lives in Kentucky)
I would actually just settle for thinking in an accent. I feel like I could come up with some great writing if I were to think in an accent. For real.
This was a completely random, ridiculous post...but I felt like I needed to post it.
"The book of Exodus tells us about the life of Miriam. We don't know too much about Miriam, but we do know she was a prophetess and one of the leaders of Israel alongside her brother Aaron (they both led under the authority of Moses). She was also a worshiper. In Exodus 15:20-21, after God had parted the Red Sea and the Israelites had escaped the Egyptians, it says, 'Then Miriam the prophetess, Aaron's sister, took a tambourine in her hand, and all the women followed her, with tambourines and dancing. Miriam sang to them: 'Sing to the Lord, for he is highly exalted. The horse and its rider he has hurled into the sea.'"
--Rise Up and Sing by Lex Buckley
Why do I blog?
Why do I say the things I say?
Why do I share the things I share?
God has given me a voice. A heart to be real and raw.
I'm not ok. You are not ok. And we need to be ok with that.
So will I share what I'm struggling with? yes, with boundaries.
Will I share what I'm sad about? yes, with boundaries.
Will I share what I'm rejoicing about? yes, with boundaries.
Will I share the hope that I have found in this? yes, with no boundaries.
I love writing and I feel like it's a way for me to express myself and for me to process sometimes. If by doing so, one person is blessed, it's worth it. To know you are not walking alone and someone else goes through the same struggles...there is a part of freedom that happens.
I feel like God has called me to this place.
Read this blog if you want.
Don't read if it's too much for you.
This is me and this is my life.
God is funny.
I mean seriously...He makes me smile when He works in ways I don't get.
If y'all read my last post, you know that I have been living in Funky Town for awhile. I'm still visiting...but with different eyes.
I wrote that post on Saturday and I knew that when Sunday came...I would be standing in front of thousands, leading worship. To be completely honest I thought to myself...how in the world am I going to stand up there and lead? I don't even want to get out of bed!
God in His graciousness reminded me to come as I am. Broken. Needy. A mess. Completely helpless. He grabbed my heart and led me to a place on Saturday where I just let go. I surrendered and gave up. Seeing that He still deserves to be worshiped no matter what state I'm in. He meets me where I'm at, He wants me where I'm at, He just wants me...funk and all.
Sunday came and I walked up on that stage praying this as we led worship:
God this is You. This is not me. I have nothing to give. You said to come as I am. Here I am. Thank You. Thank You for calling me to this, for calling me in the middle of my heart being a mess, for calling me to come to You and worship You...
...O sovereign God, O matchless King
the saints adore, the angels sing...
And fall before the throne of grace
To you belongs all highest praise...
These sufferings, this passing tide
under your wings I will abide...
And every enemy shall flee
You are my hope and victory...
To the valley for my soul
Thy great descent has made me whole...
Your word my heart has welcomed home
And peace like water ever flows...
Thank you for Your peace.
Thank You for giving me hope and victory.
I praise you Father, praise the Son, praise the Spirit three in one.
....Let mercy fall on me....
Everyone needs forgiveness the kindness of a Savior...
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Come fill my life again...
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in...
Now I surrender....
....Shine Your light and let the whole world see...
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...
Lord I come to you as I am.
Use me and fill me up so that it is ALL YOU.
I lift my hands in surrender to You.
All my fears.
All my failures.
All of me...take me.
May I shine for You, may these people shine for You Jesus.
Open their hearts and let them shine for Your glory.
...We were once your enemy...
now displayers of your mercy
Called from darkness into light...
...for the hopeless and the weary
For the broken and the needy...
For Your glory, send Your Spirit and let it rise...
God You have called me out of darkness...
given me hope in the light...
to shine for You in the hopeless, weary and broken places...
it's for YOUR glory.
...arrested by your truth and righteousness
Your grace has overwhelmed my brokenness...
convicted by your spirit led by your word...
Your love will never fail
Your love will never fail...
...You loved a people underserving...
I'm covered by Your righteousness and Your grace.
Your love will never leave me.
Your love will never fail me.
I am undeserving...but You loved and You gave.
Thank You.
Thank You.
Thank You.
Thank You.
...filled with wonder, awestruck wonder
At the mention of Your name....
I'm in awe of You Jesus.
In awe.
...I know that You're alive
You came to fix my broken life...
And I'll sing to glorify Your holy name...
Jesus Christ...
...You changed it all You broke down the wall when I spoke and confessed
In You I am blessed now I walk in the light, the victorious sight of You...
The light of You, is the light in me.
This is You.
Not me.
Thank You for picking up my pieces and putting them back together again.
You fix and You heal.
I sing and glorify YOU.
Thank You for singing through me.
You give more than I deserve.
Thank You.
Jeff Mangum gave the message and you should listen to it. It was VERY fitting. By the end of the day I had a smile on my face despite the fact that it was 105 degrees outside and the air conditioning all day wasn't working... I was a hot stinky mess.
I had a smile on my face because God allowed the week that I had. He walked me through a valley that needed to be walked through in order to experience Him the way I did on Sunday. He filled me up and I walked away that night with a confidence in Him. All day long, each service I felt these songs and these prayers being moved by the Spirit. It was so intense. I'm thankful. So thankful.
What I'm not saying is that the funk is miraculously over. It's not. I wish...but it's not. It seems as though I have different eyes in the funk. There are greater purposes here. I'm believing in that.
Songs:
Praise the Father, Praise the Son by Chris Tomlin
Mighty to Save by Hillsong
Rise & Shine by Andy Melvin
To Know Your Name by Hillsong
Revelation Song by Kari Jobe
Fire Fall Down by Hillsong
To be completely honest. I'm struggling. Once again I have found myself in a funk. I feel like this is a familiar place to me. I get here often and I get real frustrated about that.
I start to close myself off and I can't stop sleeping, I kind of just want to give up and I don't care...anyone know what I'm talking about?!
I have a feeling I'm not alone in this.
I cry a lot. I don't really want to be around people I don't know...even hard to be around people I do know. I'm tired.
But this is what I know. Jesus hasn't changed. My emotions and everything in me changes but HE hasn't changed.
He never, not even once, looks at me and says, "girl...you crazy. I'm out."
I'm so thankful for that. SO thankful.
I think about how this week has been up and down and how on numerous occasions I've wanted to turn my back and just walk (more like run) as fast away as I can. But He stops me and somehow lovingly reels me back in.
I will walk forward...continue taking steps...even if it looks like rolling out of bed and lying on the floor for a little bit...I will continue to worship Him.
I will stand and lead in the state that I'm in because He takes me as I am and He still is to be worshiped. In my weakness HE is strong. There is nothing in me that can do this. But HE can.
I just happened to listen to this song this morning by Kari Jobe, it's called My Beloved.
It pretty much wrecked me out and I can't stop listening to it...then I decided that I needed to learn how to play it.
Then I decided to record it for y'all to hear it.
Disclaimer: I'm a mess & it's rough.
I can hear God singing this to me over and over and over and over...
Here are the lyrics:
You're My beloved your My bride
To sing over you is My delight
Come away with Me My love
Under My mercy come and wait
Till we are standing face to face
I see no stain on you My child
You're beautiful to Me
So beautiful to Me
I sing over you My song of peace
Cast all your cares down at My feet
Come and find your rest in Me
I breathe My life inside of you
I'll bear you up on eagle's wings
And hide you in the shadow of My strength
I'll take you to My quiet waters
I'll restore your soul
Come rest in me and be made whole
You're My beloved your My bride
To sing over you is My delight
Come away with Me My love
With a total of maybe 2 minutes of actual running.