I Will Boast

Several days...no... weeks...actually months have gone by.
I have found myself more lost, more depressed, more overwhelmed,
Yet more hopeful, more loved, more confident in who God is.
It's sometimes overwhelming to feel so many emotions one day.
Then the next day feel nothing at all.
I often feel a little crazy.
Sometimes it's easy to put on a good face. I smile...even laugh to force myself into normalcy.
Sometimes it's not so easy.
Sometimes I try and fight.
Sometimes I don't.
I read this the other day:

Psalm 44:2-3, 8
You afflicted the peoples, but them you set free;
for not by their own sword did they win the land,
nor did their own arm save them,
but your right hand and your arm,
and the light of your face
for you delighted in them.
In God we have boasted continually,
and we will give thanks to your name forever.

God is my fighter. He is in control even in affliction.
He afflicts and He sets free.
I try so hard to fight...sometimes. Trusting in my own strength (that I don't have) instead of trusting in the only One who has the power and victory to fight.
There is nothing in me that has the power to win or to save or to fight. God is the only one who can do those things.
His right hand...power
His arm ... strength
the light of His face ... gentleness and sweetness.
He is able to save.
He delights in us with His grace and love.
So that I will boast in Him.
So I lean into Him, trust Him, let Him be my strength, let Him fight for me. Let Him do what He does, and I boast in Him.
He is good, He is faithful, He is constant, He is all I need.
So I will boast.